Wisp

Maybe if I hadn't been so young

or loved with my whole heart

I could have looked instead of leapt

lived inside a work of art

I could have felt you breathe

and not be haunted by your smile

that lives behind my eyes

like the regrets of a child

But I didn't slow to think

didn't dare to take a chance

was afraid to wait or sink

or remain inside my trance

So I let you go

though it wasn't what I want

and toil every day

inside games of if and what

I've told myself since

at least I felt it once.

I can treasure the thought

like it's something that I won

But I lost.

Memory is vapor

that taunts the holder from the past

a gnawing reminder

that our kiss was the last

And like the smoke it is

recollection fades

slips through my desperate fingers

leaving nothing but a shade

How do I contend

with an incomplete dream?

With a door I slammed and locked?

With a past I can't redeem?

How can I navigate

my conscious’s cliffs and bluffs?

How do I move on

when a memory's not enough?

© 2012, Carolynn Staib, All Rights Reserved